Marry Him

Marry Him

The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough

Book - 2010
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Penguin Putnam

Lori Gottlieb discusses Marry Him in a video on The Atlantic website.

You have a fulfilling job, a great group of friends, the perfect apartment, and no shortage of dates. So what if you haven't found The One just yet. Surely he'll come along, right?

But what if he doesn't? Or even worse, what if he already has, but you just didn't realize it?

Suddenly finding herself forty and single, Lori Gottlieb said the unthinkable in her March 2008 article in The Atlantic: Maybe she and single women everywhere, needed to stop chasing the elusive Prince Charming and instead go for Mr. Good Enough.

Looking at her friends' happy marriages to good enough guys who happen to be excellent husbands and fathers, Gottlieb declared it time to reevaluate what we really need in a partner. Her ideas created a firestorm of controversy from outlets like the Today show to The Washington Post, which wrote, "Given the perennial shortage of perfect men, Gottlieb's probably got a point," to Newsweek and NPR, which declared, "Lori Gottlieb didn't want to take her mother's advice to be less picky, but now that she's turned forty, she wonders if her mother is right." Women all over the world were talking. But while many people agreed that they should have more realistic expectations, what did that actually mean out in the real world, where Gottlieb and women like her were inexorably drawn to their "type"?

That's where Marry Him comes in.

By looking at everything from culture to biology, in Marry Him Gottlieb frankly explores the dilemma that so many women today seem to face--how to reconcile the strong desire for a husband and family with a list of must-haves so long and complicated that many great guys get rejected out of the gate. Here Gottlieb shares her own journey in the quest for romantic fulfillment, and in the process gets wise guidance and surprising insights from marital researchers, matchmakers, dating coaches, behavioral economists, neuropsychologists, sociologists, couples therapists, divorce lawyers, and clergy--as well as single and married men and women, ranging in age from their twenties to their sixties.

Marry Him is an eye-opening, often funny, sometimes painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of the modern dating landscape, and ultimately, a provocative wake-up call about getting real about Mr. Right.



Baker & Taylor
The NPR commentator and author of the best-selling Stick Figure describes her realization that she was prioritizing the wrong qualities in her search for a life partner, in an unstinting account that draws on the positive and negative responses to her 2008 Atlantic article.

Baker
& Taylor

The NPR commentator describes her realization that she was prioritizing the wrong qualities in her search for a life partner, in an unstinting account that draws on the positive and negative responses to her 2008 "Atlantic" article.

Publisher: New York : Dutton, c2010
ISBN: 9780525951513
0525951512
Characteristics: viii, 322 p. ; 24 cm

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CMcC
Apr 07, 2013

This is a very encouraging book for us guys who are not tall, rich, smart etc. Someone is telling the girls that we may be worth investigating.

The more I read the book, the more I see how important the advice is. This book should be on the shelf of all marriage counsellors and pastors and it would be good to put in high school and college libraries as well. The advice is important for both men and women who are desiring to marry and for couples who are contemplating divorce. Although the author is still single she praises marriage for the many benefits she sees her married friends enjoying and herself missing. She praises the "good enough" marriages as normal and quite desirable while discouraging thoughts of the perfect marriage as unrealistic and an impossible dream.

r
Rose1981
Jan 25, 2012

as i am approaching nearly 31 and im single, this is a highly depressing yet realistic book. i read it because its compelling yet extremely scary. a lot of us are floating through our 20's without considering that our biological clocks are ticking and that we have been too fussy and given up good men that will be married by the time we feel its time to settle. i wish for me this book was written 10 years ago. i encourage anyone in their 20's to read this.its based on a 40 year old single mothers search for Mr Right and to find a guy that will have a woman her age is difficult. she interviews various men, women, married, single, divorced to gain a perspective. she also visits the matchmaking/online dating world. also gets statistics (highly depressing again)what im going to do now, is get off my high horse, go out and try and meet someone. its affected me, that bad.

this is the perferct book for me and im only 12 wow two thumbs up

r
rakusa88
Jun 13, 2010

This is a cautionary tale that is intelligently and humorously told by a single 41-year old mother who has had enough of searching for "the One". After years of passing up many good guys for not measuring up to her unreasonable and unrealistic expectations, she realizes that what she needed was a reevaluation of what she really wanted from a husband and how to look for those few essential qualities while dating (rather than analyzing a man based on lust, looks and how he many points he scores on a checklist of desirable qualities).

The picture Gottlieb paints is bleak (especially for older, single women) but a necessary slap of reality for the mass of females who have been brainwashed with the notion that they are all entitled to the perfect soul mate. Through the stories of several women and her own, she demonstrates the flawed reasoning, successes and key insights that readers will share with their friends. As a younger reader (early 20s), I still appreciated the issues raised by Gottlieb and would easily recommend this fun and intriguing book to friends and family.

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